I want to make friends here, I really do, but at the same time, I really don’t because I know that eventually I am going to leave them here too, because I do not want to live here for the rest of my life. Here, I have no job and no hobbies that I could possibly meet people at, and I can’t decide whether or not that is a good thing. I like having friends and being social to an extent, but I am tired of starting over with people. It is pretty lonely.
The extent of my human contact is when I go to the grocery store or to the bank, and it sort of drives me crazy sometimes, but at the same time, I like knowing that I don’t have any obligation to any of these people. There isn’t anyone who is going to get offended if I walk past them and don’t say hi or anything, But there are so many people here, I am used to a pretty small town, and out of all the people here, I am sure that I will eventually make friends with some of them, which I guess is a good thing. Maybe.
The phrase “of two minds” comes to mind here.